Today I had another log day which meant that I got to lesson plan with T for our co-teaching/shadowing for a trip to Zealand Hut with a high-school group. I have very mixed feelings about the teaching thing, but I’m sure it’s just nerves.
Lesson planning went so well and was so easy because of all of the materials they provided, the training weeks, and because of T’s help. We used both days to put together a brainstorm of the plan then it all came together today.
Where I run into problems is my negative way of thinking, I guess. I keep thinking that somehow I’m going the screw up the trip and not teach well or be awkward or be the slowest hiker! Of course, all of the scenarios have me at fault and it just makes me already feel run-down. Having all of this anxiety isn’t great for how I think at all.
In order to calm down and clear my head I went for a hike up to the Crystal Cascade on Tuckerman’s. This time I only took one tiny break to rest my calves for a little bit; which, it turns out I didn’t really need to do after all. Having a small victory like that brought my hopes up a bit. I like the feeling of knowing that you’re getting stronger even if it’s little by little.
Dist: 0.3 miles
Elev: +250ft
Elapsed time: 10:10
Calories: 45
See? The one thing you feared is the thing that calmed you down – hiking! Everyone is nervous before starting something new, and you especially put more pressure on yourself than anyone I know!
Yeah. Getting tired by hiking definitely calms me down a bit, but sometimes it backfires and I get more anxiety because I’m so tired.
Don’t over think it! Have fun.